Things have been good, work is stressful, and I 've realized that the human service field is something I am not interested in doing any longer, especially in a deaf "professional" field.  While I'm sure my experience does not apply to deaf workfields in general, the place I work at- I aint gonna deal with it any longer, I'm getting paid crap money and drive an hour away to be among staff that still seem to think they are in middle school.  Most of the employees are uneducated, immature, have a complete lack of experience, and it makes me feel very sorry for the individuals that are being serviced by this agency.  They are not getting the best care they can, and there are incompetent people making important life decisions for the clients because they are not able to make it for themselves.  Frankly, the whole ordeal makes me sick to my stomach.  I tried my best, I learned alot about my management skills and I found that it is something that I excel at, I'm a good manager, I thrive off deadlines and paperwork and office politics and monitoring and training and I KNOW it is something I want to do for the rest of my life, management.  BUT not in this sort of human service/ "socialwork" field. 

However, I did land another management position for Curves near my home, a women fitness gym, and so far the people seem very positive, and my soon to be boss is such a nice lady.  The person that left that position for me to take, was deaf herself, left her amplified phone behind, everyone is used to the concept there is a hard of hearing/ deaf person working the front desk, the customers are accustomed to it, and DAMN... i got lucky.

On another note, my friend had her baby finally! Such a beautiful girl

BUT my beautiful girl DID NOT like it when I was holding the new baby, she was totally terrified, and when I picked her up to comfort her, she refused to let go of me for a long time, clinging onto me for dear life. sheesh, well guess having a 2nd kid is out of the picture, really even before seeing Sienna's reaction, I knew I did not want anymore kids.  Jason and I both agreed (for now) that we're perfectly happy with just one. 

Leaving my friend and her newborn baby at the hospital, I didn't leave feeling like, OH i want a baby and all those "typical" feelings women get when they see a newborn.  Instead, I remembered the sleepless nights, and the sinking feeling in my stomach of how the reality of being responsible for a human life causing me to break out into tears and sweat.  I remember the messes and the tiredness and the crankiness and just feeling the total loss of control.  While I love sienna, and I see that it was all worth it,   I don't wanna go through it again.  I left that hospital saying to myself, "thankgod thats not me"

my mom's 49th birthday was last saturday (YAY we finally know her real age, for the past 100 years she has been saying she's 29)  my sister came down from college and i got to spend some time with her.  Good family times.  I love them all so much.

katie and brady-   this 6 month old puppy (yeh...puppy) still can't go up stairs, and he is now 60 pounds.... have you ever read marley and me??? this is marley reincarnated. except with better behavior. 

my baby brother =)    such a good boy

Happy birthday to my mommie, the bravest strongest woman I know.